The Secret Joys
When you find out you are going to be a mama your heart starts to fill to a level you didn't know possible. For 40 weeks you get to know this little miracle that God chose specifically for you. You become so connected to them and think that your heart is prepared ....then you see them for the first time and you literally explode. It may be cheesy but the saying is true " Your first breath took ours away". There are lots of details about Max's birth I am sure I will forget over the years to come but there are some that are etched into my soul. I will NEVER forget the way it felt the few seconds before Max was born...the way his tiny body curled up on my chest...the way he calmed at our voices....the sound of his little snore when he was skin to skin with me and completely relaxed ...the way Matt looked at him...and the way I looked at Matt.
All of my life , becoming a mom was one of the strongest desires of my heart. When Matt and I realized we would be parents I just wanted to burst. When we were finally alone the night Max was born I was just in awe that God had chose us to care for this little life. I could go on about the obvious things that melt a mama....the coos and the first smiles but there are things that bury themselves deep down in my soul and bring a joy to me that overwhelms me. These are the things I wasn't expecting but I don't ever want to forget.
* When Max gets upset in the car and I put my hand back to help him get his bink he will take those little hands and hold onto mine with all his might and not let go. Yes I will probably need shoulder surgery in 20 years but it will be totally worth it.
* When Max comes to me after he wakes up or has been upset he will take the deepest breath and bury his head into my neck.
* I love when he is almost asleep and opens his eyes to flash me one more smile behind that bink before he drifts off.
* I love that he recognizes our song already. Every night I sing the same song to him and if hes asleep or upset he will open those eyes and grin so big. He knows its ours.
* I love when he hears Matts voice across a room and searches for him. They have had a rough start because someone MAY be a mamas boy ....but Max knows his daddy and he lights up when Matt talks to him.
* I love the way his sweet little baby breath smells. Weird I know but its just one of those things. I will never forget it.
* I love the way his little voice sounds now that hes " talking". My mom used to put a recorder under my crib to capture my voice and I HAVE to do the same for Max.
* I love that his eyes tell you everything. Happy , scared, curious , mad
* I love that when I pray over him at night he looks at me like hes hanging onto every word.
* I love the fat rolls on his arms that make it look like he has muscles.
* I love that even after a short day away I miss him so much. I come home and inspect him because I"m convinced hes grown 2 ft when I'm away.
There are so many more but this just touches on all the joys I hadn't even prepared for. Everyday is a new adventure. Becoming a parent has been one of the hardest yet rewarding experiences of my life. I am so grateful to be walking this path with an amazing man. We may not always get it right but we know that together we will figure it out.
All of my life , becoming a mom was one of the strongest desires of my heart. When Matt and I realized we would be parents I just wanted to burst. When we were finally alone the night Max was born I was just in awe that God had chose us to care for this little life. I could go on about the obvious things that melt a mama....the coos and the first smiles but there are things that bury themselves deep down in my soul and bring a joy to me that overwhelms me. These are the things I wasn't expecting but I don't ever want to forget.
* When Max gets upset in the car and I put my hand back to help him get his bink he will take those little hands and hold onto mine with all his might and not let go. Yes I will probably need shoulder surgery in 20 years but it will be totally worth it.
* When Max comes to me after he wakes up or has been upset he will take the deepest breath and bury his head into my neck.
* I love when he is almost asleep and opens his eyes to flash me one more smile behind that bink before he drifts off.
* I love that he recognizes our song already. Every night I sing the same song to him and if hes asleep or upset he will open those eyes and grin so big. He knows its ours.
* I love when he hears Matts voice across a room and searches for him. They have had a rough start because someone MAY be a mamas boy ....but Max knows his daddy and he lights up when Matt talks to him.
* I love the way his sweet little baby breath smells. Weird I know but its just one of those things. I will never forget it.
* I love the way his little voice sounds now that hes " talking". My mom used to put a recorder under my crib to capture my voice and I HAVE to do the same for Max.
* I love that his eyes tell you everything. Happy , scared, curious , mad
* I love that when I pray over him at night he looks at me like hes hanging onto every word.
* I love the fat rolls on his arms that make it look like he has muscles.
* I love that even after a short day away I miss him so much. I come home and inspect him because I"m convinced hes grown 2 ft when I'm away.
There are so many more but this just touches on all the joys I hadn't even prepared for. Everyday is a new adventure. Becoming a parent has been one of the hardest yet rewarding experiences of my life. I am so grateful to be walking this path with an amazing man. We may not always get it right but we know that together we will figure it out.
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